Holiday Shopping
I don’t want to be presumptuous but I am in Barnes & Noble looking at the newly expanded edition of He’s Just Not That Into You.
The Franken-bird
A turducken is not just a chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey with layers of stuffing in each bird. It is a 30 pound monstrocity of meat. One Christmas, I joked about making one. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about it and decided to make my joke into reality for New Year’s Eve.
Since I had deboned and stuffed chickens before (to make my favorite filipino dish, see below) I didn’t think a turducken would be that much work. I was so naive.
Rellenong Manok (Rolled chicken)
The Turducken
If x = the amount of work it takes to make a rellenong manok, then making a turducken is not 3x, it is x to the 3rd power.
It is unlikely that I will make Turducken 2.0, but if I did, I would have to remember the following:
1) The birds should definitely come in large, medium, and small. My duck was too small to be medium, so I couldn’t quite close the duck all the way. I had used tooth picks to close the stuffed chicken before I placed it in the duck (that was splayed open with a layer of stuffing patted on the inside.) I had to use skewers to close the duck.
2) I always think of that crispy, deep brown roasted skin when I think of eating duck. Duck skin just looks like a thick layer of fat in a turducken.
3) Vary the stuffings. I got tired after deboning 3 birds, so I felt justified in being a little lazy and using some of the same bread and meat for the stuffing. The recipe called for 3 completely different stuffings comprised of corn bread, white bread, clams, sausage, mushrooms, celery, etc. I forgot that you have to cook the stuffing beforehand.
4) Don’t make too much stuffing! You are fitting whole birds into other birds. There is not that much extra room.
5) Get a pan that can hold the turducken and all of its juices comfortably. Mine was kind of snug.
6) Finish preparing it a day before you plan to eat it. It is huge and takes 8 HOURS to cook at 150 degrees. I finished it atound 1 am and thought, “Cool, I’ll just cook it while I sleep.” Turducken just does not seem right for breakfast. Plus, nobody wants to get out of bed to baste.
7) Have more than one person over to help you eat it.
Looking back, I am glad I made the turducken. I was too overwhelmed to enjoy it at the time, but that was a damn good medley of birds.
The Disciplines
Why do people getting doctorates in English seem so different from me?
I’m just using you…
..for another entry for a contest giveaway. Given my current income, I can’t afford anything fun so it’s back to scratch-offs and contest entries.
This one is pretty dandy, and would make a cook drool. Hopefully not into the food…
You Can’t Go Home Again
I used to live next door to this house. It had its issues, like a feral cat colony. And sort of weird owners. But it was kind of charming, and I didn’t mind living next to it. Well, in retrospect. Presentspect was a little different at the time.
They filmed Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind there. Inside of the second floor, where my friends used to live.
I even got two good cats out of the deal (R.I.P. Oliver)
I challenge anyone nostalgic for old New York to tell me the good of what’s happened here.
When is something pun-ny?
Yesterday my mother belabored the fact that my father gifted us chillin’s with an appreciation for weird twists on language, indicating that it has corrupted us.
I wondered the same when I responded to a craigslist advertisement for a goose-neck desk lamp asking if I could take a gander. Was I lumping myself in an unappealing category? What was I saying about myself?
Language has the capacity to undo itself, but why are puns in a class unto themselves?
Things That Bother Me
The bruise on the heel of my hand from putting together too much Ikea furniture.
How friends disappear when the weekend hits.
Having Ikea furniture.
Homonormative
Lauren was kind enough to send me this the other day. I won’t spend much time analyzing it, but the summary paragraphy brings up some awesome points.
I do think this is feminism’s dark corner. There is no guide to dating outside of patriarchy, there is no narrative for if you want to do it on your own or if you don’t want to get married, but you don’t want to be single either. Many women are caught in the middle, trapped between the discourse of what is expected and what they want.
But it got me to thinking, how is it that we have the word heteronormative and I throw it around unabashedly as an insult like 4 times per week, but we’ve never explored the deep dark recesses of homonormativity? I know it has less of a societal impact, but the queerish community is plagued by a set of expectations and pressures, both internal and external, that wreaks havoc on our relationships as well.
I want us all to stop following rules and start just being honest.
The Shanty Kingdom 